Hey all you fellow bloggers out there!
What I am about to share is very close and precious to my heart. See, for a while the Lord has been teaching me to trust Him and like me I had been having a very hard time trusting Him and not worrying and obsessing over things like getting a job, a car, having money, you know all those "teen" things. The only problem was that as I was trying to make everything come out "my way" the way that I thought was best I was getting more and more frustrated because I was not obeying Jesus. To make a long story short...On Sunday night we had a campfire after Church and it was ALOT of fun! :) Afterwards, I was in my room and I decided to journal a bit. Before I know it I was in tears just baring my heart before the Lord. I am going to include what I wrote that night:
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Dear Heavenly Father,
Dear Lord, I just come to You tonight pleading Jesus' blood and Jesus' name on my sleep tonight. See, the past few nights I have been having horrid, disgusting dreams. I think a part of it has been that I have been reading some wrong stuff and thinking on some wrong stuff and "that stuff" is being reflected in my dreams. 1st Lord I ask You to forgive me and 2nd I ask You to cleanse, purge, and santify both my mind, my heart, and my dreams. Father, fill my dreams tonight with YOU! I have never asked You to do that ,but, pls. show Yourself to me in a mighty way. Part of me is like "It won't happen, I don't matter, big things like that don't happen to me..." But then the other part is just begging You too and desiring it...Lord, You are the same God that did great miracles. You are the same God that has miraculously provided for _______. You are the same God that spoke to Mr. Harvey (www.congoharveys.org). Lord, pls. I am so tired of being an 1/2 hearted Christian. I am so sick of not trusting you and worrying all the time. I am so tired of not trusting You to provide completely for all my needs. I do want to surrender everything and trust it to You. I want to surrender all and let You take me and use me wherever. I am so weak though and it is so hard sometimes because I feel like You are "to big" for me after all I am just Katy ____...why would You want to help me. Lord, I know that is wrong! Jesus pls...I am so week...like Gideon pls. show me Your power in my life and help me to realize Your love for me. Pls. comfort me. I believe truly that You will...You promise to...pls. help my unbelief and doubts to disappear! Just as that man cried "Lord I believe! Help my unbelief!" So do I...
Pls...
In Jesus name,
Amen
And that was it...I just layed myself, all of me, before the Lord. And you know what!? The next morning I woke up having slept like a baby! God is sooo good! And that is not all...He gave me a new spirit. Every moment I have been trying to think "Is this for Jesus, will this glorify Him?" Yeah, I still have and will mess up but...WOW! When you make an effort to live 100% for Jesus every moment of the day...Things HAPPEN!
So what about YOU?
Do you want to make this commitment with me? To live a sold-out life for Jesus no matter what the cost and leave the rest up to Him? If so, write me...I am thinking of setting up another blog (kinda like this one) except it will be almost like a forum where we would all share what the Lord is doing in our lives and have discussions about certain issues. What do you think? Leave your comments and we will see what God can do.
He wants to use YOU! But...are you willing to let Him?
